I'm not trying to get nasty over here, because I know that all these sadness would soon be over.
But I just need a place to rant everything out, so that I can forget all these as soon as possible.
Do you know what? It actually started well, and I tried to get ourselves into a nice conversation. Yes, I've to get myself trying. I don't know why, because every time if we dine out, it will turn out bad. Well, it's not an exception for today too, I ruined it by saying something I shouldn't have. I guess that's the problem that I've to get myself changed, but am I not the only one who should change as well?
Frankly speaking, I've the thought that you would do that to me. But it turned out it's another way round, and I was waiting for you to do the same thing to me too, you didn't. Everything that I said, you've to tweak it into an unpleasant way. Why, why can't we just have that same frequency, why I've done the same thing as him, but I got it treated differently. It's really hard sometimes to convince myself that you're not biased towards both of us. I'm a blockhead, if you've anything to say, please don't beat around the bush, I won't get it. They told me to put myself in your shoes and understand your point of view, but being a little selfish, I'ld like to ask that have you put yourself in my shoes then?
It's not like before anymore, it really pains me to get to think of that. We're those two who find it hard to express our feelings well, so often we got each other wronged. But I really, really don't want it to happen. Mummy, I still love you as much. As much as before, my love for you will never change. Do you know that? I'm still the same girl as before, who needs your hugs and kisses. But how to get myself to tell you that? How to get myself to say 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry'? I really don't know how, Mummy.
Mummy, I still love you. As much as before.
