miss-yoursmile(:

Lies; I choose not to believe anymore.

2012-02-14T20:13:00.005+08:00

Everybody lies, yeah I do admit that I do lie as well. But I'm sorry that I can't be a good liar as you do, who can 睁眼说瞎话. Fine, I'm not angry. And I'm not going to be.

我不会生气是因为你又不是我的谁，我干吗要去在乎你做过的事，说过的话呢?

可是我真的有那么傻吗? 为什么你跟我说的话，跟我所听到的完完全全不一样.
我真的不会生气，只是我不会再相信你了，不再相信你的花言巧语. 不再会了，不再那么傻了.

Oh yaa, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL! ♥
Hahaa although it may just seem as a normal day for me, but still it's a lovely day eh!

#PS: 思漪，你真的不会生气吗?

好，我不说谎，我确实有点生气，气被欺骗，气自己曾相信过你.
其实真相早以摆在眼前，只是自己不愿去相信，
即使每个人都看清了，只有那天真的我被骗得团团转.
我不会再那么笨，那么傻，那么天真了!

我最讨厌的就是不信任我的人，欺骗我的人.
你刚好就符合了这两点.

SMILESSS! (:

2012-02-10T00:36:00.004+08:00

Ah-ha! SOoo looking back from the last post, it's just me thinking too much indeed. I came to realise that it may not have to be the two extremes, well we can still be friends afterall. Friends that could talk and joke around with. (: That's the way I wanted it to be, isn't it? Hahha, I've been "controlling" my thinking ever since, keep sending reminders to myself to maintain that positive mindset and smile more. Anyway, the choice lies within yourself to be the reason of happiness or not. 我希望我能持续这开朗的心态，来笑一下! (:

Sidetrack a bit, I've this CUTE colleague who told me something today, she says:
GOOD GUYS HAVE THE BAD GIRLS. GOOD GIRLS HAVE THE BAD GUYS.
SHUAI-GES GOT THE UGLY GIRLS. PRETTY GIRLS GOT THE UGLY GUYS.
And she came out with this theory just because she's JEALOUS! Ahahaha!
Well, to what extent is this true? #foreveralone. She always said. She arh, make me laugh real hard today.

Side-side track a little more, PRELIMS's coming in another 3weeks! Oh Gosh! I've to concentrate, CONCENTRATE! Alright, I'm wide awake now just because I drank a can of coffee like 5hours ago, because of the PBF Night Class! I can't get to close my eyes and sleep, how? T.T Oh by the way, Imma saving money now too! Haha, a bit 影响(positive one) by Zhiting to save up! But horh, for me is I'm saving up for something larh, it's gonna be a long list so not going to pen it down first. Heheh.

#Ps: SOoo people, don't overthink eh, okay larh actually is just me who tends to think a lot. Note to self actually, bleh. (:

Tornado Thoughts

2012-02-07T00:06:00.002+08:00

I don't know should I continue with this; I might seem to be a little too selfish.

错的人.

2012-01-30T00:46:00.009+08:00

我只能说这个感觉很复杂，很奇怪. 但我也不知道是不是自己把它给复杂化了. 起先，并不把它当作一回事，可是后来当你也不再像以前一样，才发现再也回不去了. 这也不知道该从何说起，其实真的很想不去想，因为对我来说根本不重要. 但是，它一直浮现在我脑海里，我想应该是因为我还有想不通的地方吧.

一切本来都还好好的，我想应该是因为那件事吧，那件事怎么开始的我也不清楚，我也不知道你听我朋友说了什么，也不知道是不是真的是我错了. 如果真是因为你听了我朋友说了什么，我也不会去多问，因为不想因为你而破坏了我们之间的友情，而且这显示你根本不相信我说的话. 如果是因为我错了，坦白说我也只错在那个谎，笨得去问你是不是在生我的气. 对，我是说过你小气，可是不是你想像中的那样，终之我们之间好像有好多误会，更糟糕的是，都是经别人的口解释，所以才会越描越黑. 过后你确实有亲口问我到底对你是不是有什么误会，但我却什么也没说，什么也没解释. 最后你回答我一句话，我确实真的真的很生气. 可是，隔天我们却好像回到了平常一样，又有说话了. 但是又怎样呢，过后到现在还不是一样，我看着你，是想要看你几时才会先对我说话，先笑. 可是你都直视别的地方，那我就算了，我不需要再笨多一次，去解释一切. 说真的，我起先是内疚，后来是觉的很辛苦，不知道为何要这个样子. 对不起，之前有可能是我太自私了. 现在我会说服自己把之前的事情都当作没发生过，像以前一样.

对你的一切我也觉得很乱，很乱. 不知道别人说的，你说的，我听到的，哪一句是真，是假. 反正我不会再去猜疑，我会等真相自己出现，我有说过，如果你真的骗我，我不会再相信你了. 所以我才说我真的真的很讨厌一个人之前对我很好，因为结局都是这样.

HAPPY HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

2012-01-27T02:43:00.011+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Hahaa, it's a bit late though but better than don't have okay? Haha. I'm just back from Malaysia, my 5days&4nights break! Tell me why why why times when we're happy ALWAYS passed so fast?! And now I'm back to 'REALITY', off from my WONDERLAND. No more 游哉闲哉. No more 想吃什么就吃什么. Haha, and the result is me gaining 2kg from all the eating of CNY goodies and ESP (Eat, Sleep, Play). 这就是‘吃了再打算’的后果. I totally no control lehh, EAT EAT EAT NON-STOP! Hahah, but I promised I so going gym tomorrow okay, to shed off the FATS!

Anyway, I do have a great time this year! And this is the first time that our whole family can have such a long CNY Celebration together, since I've a week break from school and DiDi has no school, no work. (: And this Saturday, 二舅，三舅 & 小阿姨 will be coming to our house, let's continue to have a BLAST! :D

Lalala~

2012-01-19T01:23:00.014+08:00

Breathe, please breathe!
1000, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000...!
Phew! You're still alive, my dear bloggie!

Hahha, alright stop that drama!
You see, my life is so mundane that I've to self-entertain. Poor thing.
Well, it's rather busy this week. Everything is driving me crazy.
School, work, spring cleaning and so many things yet to be done.

(1) POA Test! Haven't started studying for it yet. One-word: DIE!

(2) Spring cleaning! My room is still in a big mess, the only clean and tidy place is my lovely bed.

(3) Pack my bag! Confirmed that I'm going back to Malaysia on Saturday but all the things are still lying all over the place but not in my bag.

(4) Work! I've to work @12pm tomorrow but I'm still wide awake at this moment. But I'm going to have a 7-days break with no school and work! Cheers!

Alright time is running out, should save the time for sleeping! Lalaland time Zzz!

XOXO.

A Short Getaway! ♥

2011-12-21T04:27:00.004+08:00

Haha, miss me not. I'll be going for a short holiday to Genting Highlands with my dearest Shiya & Christella! (: And be back in three days, by then will be near to Christmas! (: Alright, the time now is 4.39am, I survive the night by not sleeping to refrain myself from oversleeping haha. Well, it's time to get myself prepared, have a good breakfast and I'll be ready to go! Goodbye, Lovelies! ♥

XOXO.

2011-12-17T23:53:00.003+08:00

GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME! Hahha, if you saw something like this, please take one and pass it to me alright?

你为什么要让我这么内疚呢? 你说的那些, 我真的不明白, 所以我就当作没这回事.
每当我开心的时候, 我都会感到害怕, 因为我知道我很快又会不开心了.
所以, 我已经不敢再期望任何人, 任何事情, 任何一天.
我害怕下一秒我又会跌到了谷地, 爬不起来.

因此, 我真的真的很讨厌一个人在之前对我很好, 过后却不知什么原因, 我们却成了连话都不说的陌生人.
那我宁愿你从一开始就把我当作陌生人, 那以后当你离开后, 我也就不会那么的难过.
在生活中, 许多问题真的没有所谓的答案, 所以也因此成了无法弥补的遗憾.

学不会; 永远都学不会.

2011-12-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

學不會
曲Composer：林俊傑
詞Lyricist：姚若龍

你的痛苦我都心疼想為你解決
擋開流言緊握你手想飛奔往前
我相信愛能證明一切
夠真心會超越時間
多付出也多了喜悅讓幸福蔓延

總是學不會再聰明一點
記得自我保護必要時候講些善意謊言
總是學不會真愛也有現實面
不是誰情願就能夠解決

一次爭吵一個心結累積著改變
內心疏遠足夠秒殺外表多濃烈
才發現愛不代表一切
再真心也會被阻絕
這世界天天有詭雷隨時會爆裂

還是學不會少浪漫一點
拼命著想的事未必帶來感動或被感謝
還是學不會解釋我最傷最累
痛死都不願怪誰

把每段癡情苦戀在此刻排列面前
也感覺不埋怨只懷念

總是學不會再聰明一點
記得自我保護必要時候講些善意謊言
不是學不會只是覺得愛太美
值得去沉醉流淚

It's Snowing!

2011-12-11T16:15:00.019+08:00

Christmas's arriving! You see the two little adorable snowman are sending love to you ♥♥. How I wish I'm able to see it snowing, let the snow melts in my hands.

Anyway, SY went out with SY yesterday. Haha is PSY & NSY. Have an awesome day and night out with her, we went to so many places walk walk see see shop shop. Firstly, we lunched at J.CO Donuts. SUPERB! ♥ their donuts and Freeze. PSY had Iced Caramelite & NSY had Choco Forest. (: And I told Ahya that I'm going to use a lot of the napkins when I'm eating donuts because all are so creamy. In the end, I really use one napkin for every donut I ate haha. Pardon me.

Then after the lunch, we were so full with energy and started to walk around Bugis Junction. And we took the neoprints but horh, sadly I accidentally pressed the 'FINISH' button when we were still decorating it. Hence, the outcome is FAILED. ): And horh, we took neoprints together for like three times already, but every time we choose the one that we like most, our choices never clash haha. SOoo we get to keep the ones that we like the most hehe. And and we went to Bugis Street to SHOP! Okay larh, I really got control myself already horh haha. I just bought a sandals, a knitted pullover and a top. Totally agree that 'Shopping is the best exercise ever'.

Well, we continued our trip to Somerset and started to walk down Orchard Road. ♥ the Christmas' lightings so much and the tall golden Christmas tree.

THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

Oh ya, and on the way we were returning back to the MRT, we saw so many people looking up to the sky. SOoo we kaypo kaypo, looked up as well and saw a partial Eclipse. Haha is it a good thing or bad thing to see an Eclipse? Lastly, we dragged our tired bodies back home haha.

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY!

#PS: Photo Credits to PSY's S2! Awesome eh! Now make me feel like changing my phone to S2 too.

#PPS: ): We went to WATTS IN but I can't find my airplane necklace anymore! sadded ttm. But I saw my Union Jack's knitted blouse ( think only Zhiting knows which one I'm referring to haha), in the end I didn't buy too cos' it's $39.90 and Ahya said it's a little not worth it.

#PPPS: Counting down... 10 more days ( not to my birthday of course haha! ) Alright, going to get prepared and off to work soon! Yawn :O, so lazy and tired to go work today lehh. The weather's so cooling, best for a short nap. ):

XOXO.

You never know.

2011-11-19T11:28:00.003+08:00

I feel totally vexed and upset right now. I hate how things changes just like that. I hate the time that my plans are ruined. And I hate how chances slipped through my fingers just like that. I hate the reason why I don't deserve a second chance.

Lesson learnt: Never pin high hopes on something or expect something more, the end result you'll get is all the disappointment, and nothing else.

You're once my beautiful memories.

2011-11-15T00:14:00.009+08:00

You remind me of him once again.

You told me that you want him to be by your side and never go away.

You said that's impossible but I replied nothing's impossible.

Back then, thinking of him has became a habit of mine.

Yet now, I've changed that bad habit and let my smile shines.

It's hard to move on when you're still holding on.

Till then, I've nothing more to hold on and choose to let go.

Behind of my smile is things that you don't understand.

Is bits and pieces of me that left there all alone.

To keep you smiling, I've to let my tears flow.

That's the sacrifice that I knew all along.

In this complicated world of yours, I decided to leave.

World of pain and misery, the life I'ld not want to lead.

Forgetting doesn't make it all better, it just makes you hurt more when you remember.

11.11.11 Make my wish come true. ♥

2011-11-11T23:35:00.008+08:00

11/11/11.

A beautiful day indeed. Minus the POA test and the long lectures we have today. Haha. SOoo have you made your wish at the 11:11? Haha, I don't care it's just a myth or something but I rather choose to believe it. (: Anyway, I've always love the number eleven so it actually somehow made my day by looking at the awesome date that we have today.♥

And tomorrow marks the last day of my torture. Haha. Alright, I mean the last day of working as a banquet waitress in Raffles Hotel. It would be my last day, I guess. Although it's just going to be my fourth day working over there, but it's really super tiring and your whole body will ache. ): And the colleagues are also not very friendly and sociable though. SOoo, I've decided not to work there anymore, cos' I really could not work at somewhere which I don't like. It could really be a torture to me, I'd rather work at somewhere else whereby the pay is lower but has a fun environment that I feel comfortable in. Fussy yeah? Haha. That's Sagittarius! They would prefer to work at somewhere they like and have more freedom, rather than being constrained. Hence, wish me luck and I really need time to FLY tomorrow alright! (:

2011-11-08T15:59:00.003+08:00

Oh dear! Why do I still feel that tinge of jealousy?

I get so frustrated that easily, and I know that I shouldn't have been doing that.

Still a happy day though!

2011-11-03T23:42:00.005+08:00

Still a happy day though! Haha. Although we've a hard time doing our POA Assignment today, continuing to pull our hair and stress over it, but at least we have completed it. Moreover, I've a fun time with Ting today!:D Watched 23:59; it's so funny larh, more like a comedy than a horror movie. But it's still somehow scary haha. It has been ages since I went to town, can't recognise all the routes already. ): or you can just call me a 路痴.

Alright, just a short post today. I'm going to turn in early, tomorrow still have a long day to go. )): Another reason to sleep earlier today haha, only Zhiting will know arh. (:

#P.S.: Haha, such a coincidence to bump into Uncle and Huifen at Cineleisure!xD

Give Me A Break!

2011-11-02T23:54:00.006+08:00

My dear Minho, why are you so adorable? Haha. Fanatical Me! >.<

Oh well, having a headache from all the thinking of POA!

Seriously we're pulling our hair while doing the assignment!

I wonder how am I going to cope with the test the coming week?!

Sighhh. Feeling so tired lately; awake with doses of caffeine.

Worse still, have to start work this Saturday which would end at 1am.

Facing so many problems. MONEY!$$ STUDIES!@.@ WORK! @$#%$

Oh well oh well, give myself a break tomorrow! ^.^

Catching a horror movie, 23:59 with Z.T.! (:

GOODNIGHTS PEEPS! CANDY DREAMS! ♥

#PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEAR GUIN GUIN! ♥

Just Breathe; To Live.

2011-11-01T22:25:00.005+08:00

And today is the first day of November! (: Argh, I don't know why my eyes are hurting so much, you can't see any difference though, but it really hurts a lot. )): And today, I went for the TCC's training, they're quite strict though and you know I'm those clumsy+blur kind so must be ultra careful. Sighh, and tomorrow got school again! ECONOMICS LECTURE! )): Dreaded. I just hope my eyes can get better by tomorrow and have the energy and motivation for school! (: 加油!

Walking away from everything.

2011-10-31T15:40:00.008+08:00

Whoa you see, our one-week break is over! Time passes really fast yeah, and the only motivation to go school now is to look forward to our next two-weeks break at the end of December! Haha, what's more! Daddy has just confirmed with me that the hotel in Genting has been booked! HOORAY! That means that I'm going to go Genting with my friends on the 21Dec! :D YIPPEE! Well, I don't get to go with my family on the 26Nov as I still have school on the following Monday. SOooo I'll look forward to my 3D2N Genting trip with my lovelies! ♥ A short getaway from here, with all the schoolwork and everything! (:

Well, it has been two weeks since I last blogged, let me recall and rewind a bit......

23 Oct: A day out @ USS and HALLOWEEN NIGHT! I tell you, this is the first time I went for a Halloween Party, and the longest scream I ever had. Haha, at the entrance I already started to tremble a bit as the sound effects is damn loud and eerie. And once I entered, I started to get so paranoid of the surroundings as there are Halloween characters like those horrifying clowns and terrible zombies who would chase after you. I was really frightened by everything, that I was standing beside my friend, grabbing her arm so tightly and she suddenly talked a bit louder because of the noisy surroundings, I also jumped for fright and screamed. Hahah, so embarrassing! >.< Aiyoo, really very scary marh, I don't even dare to open my eyes and I just screamed all the way! But, a bit regretted that we didn't enter the Haunted House. Alright, we took some photos which the characters are still not so scary haha, the rest heheh you should know arh, 看到他们跑都来不及了.

But overall, it's fun though! Next time I still want to go but have to go with a large group of friends to 壮胆arh. Hahah.

27-29 Oct: Back to USS again to work this time round, and oh gosh due to the Halloween Night Event, all of us have to work until 1am. Tired much but it's still worthwhile, haha to earn some extra cash. This time went back to work, felt that it's no longer the same when I used to work over there. I don't know why, maybe it's because most of my ex-colleagues no longer work there already. )); And I thought this time round, I'm just going back to work and nothing more. But, the moment I saw you, the feeling hits right back at me and it somehow strucks me hard. I don't know how should I react but I hidden it well. Because ever since we knew that we're going back to work, C has asked that what she has to do when she sees you again. And sighh... don't know how to say larh. Just continue what you want to do and please don't tell me again. And I hope you've carried on with your life well, happy with S together alright! Haha.

And for me, I would just concentrate with my schoolwork and find a part-time job soon. My dear holidays faster come larh, 我快喘不过气了!

Up and Down.

2011-10-16T18:41:00.004+08:00

I really hate the feeling when you're sad for no apparent reason. You just feel like crying and screaming all out. I hope it'll get better haha. And I so wanna to go SHOPPING! ♥ You know, Retail Therapy! Haha, I want to get new tops! (: But... now no work no money, soon I'ld declare bankruptcy. ): Anyway, haha going for a movie watchout 'Dreamhouse' tomorrow! Yeah it has been ages since me and Zhiting have watched a horror movie together and hehe, we've planned to have Swensen's too. ♥ -ly! I guess both of us have already save up to 20bucks, yeah Zhiting? Hahah. So don't worry SY! You'ld have a great week, not forgetting the Halloween Night! (: Alright... so ENJOY! :D

I'm one lucky girl!

2011-10-15T01:24:00.003+08:00

Just now, went for a run again! This time round only ran for 3.5km and run like super slow. ): haish, don't care larh, as long as I get to exercise will do hahah. And you know what happened next? Really heartache leh... I dropped my precious phone on the ground! Not those smooth ground you know, is those really hard and rough ground made of cement! And the metal part a bit dent in and scrapped off. Argh, my baobei! Argh, damn sad you know! Sob sob... T.T

Haha, but I still feel glad and thankful after hearing a news told by my bro. I mean I feel that I'm a lucky girl. hehe, shall tell you tomorrow! Right now, my comfy bed is calling out for me! So... GOODNIGHT! ♥

Get off, FATS!

2011-10-13T00:54:00.006+08:00

Whoa, STOP tempting me with all these. All the cupcakes, chocolates and ice-cream. I love them, but I can't have them anymore. Because I seriously have to lose weight! Oh gosh, you know what, my ex-colleague has said that my face gets so chubby with my puffy cheeks and worse still, Daddy said that I've gained weight too, saying my double chin coming out le. Really can't stand that! So...... I need to LOSE WEIGHT! Just now, went for a run at night with brother. Haha, ran for around 3.8km round the park and already like out of breath le. Old le, Old le! Seriously arh, have to exercise more and eat less. Hence, I hope I can do it like go for running at least twice a week and say no no to fast food, fried food. You see, all my pimples popping out already, my face like not a human's face anymore. Urgh! Really tak boleh tahan! Whoa, faster faster lose weight Szeyee, before Chinese New Year, or else you can't fit into those niceee niceee clothes le. Sob sob......

And Szeyee envies those girls who are so slim, with flat tummy, skinny thighs. )):

Good Good Night!

2011-10-10T16:26:00.003+08:00

HURRAY! Gonna meet them again later @ TIMBRE! Haha, first time going there though. This time round is the Farewell Dinner for Huifen, you see almost all the colleagues I know are leaving le. I wonder if we would still be able to meet as a whole next time as everybody has gone their own ways le. Well, I hope so. Because I'm happy every time I meet up with them. And let's hope we would have fun too later on. SMILEY! (:

And for today, we've the PBF Test 2. Thank God, it did not test on delegated monitoring theory and the future of financial intermediaries. Okay, I wouldn't take this for granted and I promised I would study for that as well next time round. Well, not every single time would be that lucky. And please, let me pass at least for this test, so as to prompt me to study hard as well for the next coming test(s). If not I'll just die man, this shows that I don't understand them at all. Alright, quite a few tests coming up as well. Like Statistics, followed by POA and PBF again. Gosh-es!

Okay, put them all aside first & let's have a Good Good Night!xD Byebye!♥

My Hundredth. 09.10.11.

2011-10-09T00:57:00.004+08:00

My dearest diary,

haha, just realised this is my 100th post since January 2010.
dedicated to you my lovely diary.♥

08.10.11

Haha, SO EPIC just now!xD Wenlin came to my house to help me do french manicure, haha. Thanks loads my dear! (: Then so many EPIC things happen, the white colour nail polish dropped on the floor, and you can expect what happen next. On the floor and on both of our legs. & it's NAIL POLISH! GOSH-es. It's so hard to remove and worse still our newly polished nails are not dried yet. Disastrous! Luckily, we got it all cleaned up but still, there are traces of evidence. Hahha. Both of us are so stunned and me started laughing so hard and can't stop. But, Wenlin is so worried that she damaged my floor. Hahhaa.

Then next, she showed me her photos taken yesterday with her friends and boyfriend. A polariod photo with her two friends, then got one (standing in the middle) looked like our Secondary school friend Sara. Then I said, "Hey, this girl looks like Sara leh.". She replied, "Yaa, that's Sara arh, *give me the 'you also know her arh' the look and in the meanwhile she pointed to the one standing at the right.* I said, "Huh, Sara Sim? (referring to our Sec classmate)". Then, she stunned again, for a few seconds I think. (Later I asked her again, she stunned that moment because she's thinking Sara Sim the 'Sim' is it referring to 'SIM'(Singapore Management of University)? whereby I referred is the surname kind.) And so, it's another EPIC situation, the Sara I mean is the not the one she's thinking about. Cos' in the picture, the one standing at the right is really called Sara. Not the one standing in the middle which I said that she looked like our classmate, Sara. okay, the end of our EPIC moments of the day. Don't understand, never mind because I know I'm a super poor story-teller and joke-teller. But to me, it's really funny that I can't stop laughing. One-word: EPIC. Hahaa.

And tomorrow, okay I mean today, it has already passed twelve midnight I forgot. I'm not going to slack at home, I'm going to Changi to study with Chris! (: okay, first time talked about study so happy. Heheh, but Changi Airport T2 is really a good place to study arh, such a conducive environment to me. So quiet and peaceful and not many people even during the peak hours. Furthermore, there also not very cold and food is allowed, not like in the library have to eat something or drink coffee secretly haha. Alright, seriously have to study for my that PBF Test 2, failed my that Test 1 terribly. );

And now, it's raining! hahah, appropriate timing and right atmosphere to listen to BEAST 'On Rainy Days'. And can see from all the fb status, seems like the entire land, Singapore is raining heavily arh, even in Malaysia. Just received a call from Mummy from there, there also raining heavily. So, what it means? It means it's time to turn in as it's such a good weather to sleep in. (minus all the thunders and winds blowing against the glass windows) And hope I'ld have a good night, and one-week holiday faster faster come. (: Lalala~

ohya, one more thing, my poor camera is spoilt too~ Damn SAD, hope can get it fixed! T.T

在那梦里.

2011-10-08T16:56:00.005+08:00

前几天都做了噩梦, 只知道自己在梦里很害怕, 很想脱离梦境, 但梦醒后却忘了那是怎么样的一个梦. 所以这两天都比较迟睡, 也不敢关灯睡. 但是, 也不知道是什么时候的事了, 我却做了一个好梦, 梦里所发生的事依然清楚地出现在我脑海里.

那梦里, 有海有草地, 也有我们全家人, 应该是到那里旅游吧. 我们都玩得很开心, 我还有玩跳伞, 看到了一大片的草原. 很美很美. 过了不久, 天就暗了下来, 到了晚上, 我跟弟弟到海边看星星, 吹海风. 我还记得那里的星星很漂亮, 整个天空都布满了一闪一闪的星星, 突然有橙黄色的灯光闪过那片海洋 (也不知为什么是橙黄色的?) 再看多一次, 原来是流星, 我还赶快叫我弟弟看, 然后就闭上眼睛许了一个愿, 我也来不及多想自己该许什么愿望, 因为深怕再多想就会失去这个机会. 我很清楚地记得自己许了什么愿望, 而且是多么的自然. 梦醒了, 回到了现实. 想起了那个梦, 想起了许过得愿, 那愿望我也曾经在现实中许过, 但现在没有了因为我知道属于我的, 不喜欢也只能接受, 而不属于我的, 再喜欢也只能学会放手. 可是没想到在那梦里, 我还是只许了那个不可能实现的愿望, 那么的自然, 那么的轻易. 可是那梦依然不属于我, 它属于另一个更幸运的女孩.

Goodbye, Old me!

2011-10-02T15:42:00.004+08:00

Goodbye, September! Thanks a lot for being so good! Appreciated much for all the sweet memories! Although there are still things that made my smile upside down, that made me frown, but it's alright, that's parts and parcels of life. Life can never be so smooth, without obstacles that strengthen me, make me a stronger person. Overall, I still enjoyed my lovely Sept and has a FUN & GREAT one! And now, let's hope October would be the same as well alright!

PS: Goodbye, long fringe too! hehe, just have my hair trimmed, although not much difference but it sorts of given me a fresh start. (:

Dear Octobby,

HELLO! *shake hands*
Let's have a good start and look forward to my one-week break okay! I know you would be good to me, be like an octopus with eight tentacles, juggling my life in order to keep it in good shape. Let's see......

♥ 5 Oct: Daddy's Birthday!
♥ 10 Oct: Night out with colleagues to Timbre. ( Maybe/Maybe not? )
♥ 13 Oct: Horror Movie Day with Zhiting! Long-awaiting~ Long time since we'd watched horror movie together. (:
♥ 23 Oct: Day out to USS & HALLOWEEN PARTY IN USS! Oh god, I wonder if I dare to go?
♥ 24 Oct: Brother's Birthday!
♥ 27-29 Oct: Part-time back in USS, earning some extra bucks$$!
♥♥♥ 24-30 Oct: 1-week BREAK! :D

You can see that it has been a few weeks since I blogged, do you miss me my dearest diary? Because my com went for rebel against me one day, and now it's still not fixed yet. Actually I've a lot of things to blog about but I don't want to be seem as a long-winded old lady here and a bit lazy to write out all my thoughts for the last few weeks. Anyway, no one would bother to care, except you my lovely diary who tolerates all my nonsense, all my complains and everything. Haha.

PS: Goodbye, Old me! I'm simply tired of staying in the past, holding on something that I shouldn't have been. Be back to yourself, learn to love yourself! Search back the smile you used to have, no matter how hard it is.

i apologized.

2011-09-19T23:56:00.003+08:00

okay, i feel bad now. i don't know why. i also don't know how to describe that feeling. is it me that put you to the edge? or does it seem like a sacrifice just like you've said? but frankly speaking, i don't have any of that kind of thoughts in my mind. i just believe that everything shouldn't have ended that way. and everything would turn out well. i'm not trying to get you hurt, seriously. i also hope you can get what you hoped for, i don't mind. but anyway thanks for asking, no matter is it for you or us. and i'm really sorry if that happens. well, i hope not.

Take me away, far far away.

2011-09-17T19:17:00.003+08:00

Lovely things that add on to my Sweetie September!
(: Met up with Guin on Wednesday, dined in at Donut Factory and have a small chat. AWESOME. It has been a long time since I had donuts. Yummy Yummy.♥

(: Meeting up with the Three Musketeers to get our mission done tomorrow. haha, and not forgetting to catch a HORROR movie to set my heart thumping hard, having a SCREAM fest.

(: Again, would be going to my fav place with Zhiting on next Monday! Awaiting~ hehe, let all the planes take my worries away.

You see......it has been the second week of Sept, see how time flies. & please give me a break, let me have a GETAWAY from here. Anywhere is fine, just need a place to let me forget everything and start all over again. PLEASE.

2011-09-16T23:57:00.001+08:00

haha, HOW TRUE!

一个人, 不寂寞.

2011-09-13T22:45:00.008+08:00

一个人的时候并不寂寞, 相反的围绕在朋友中的你却感到无比的寂寞. 你是否曾经历过?
一个人的时候, 就好像我每天搭巴士上学或回家, 虽然通常都只是一个人，但我一点都不感觉寂寞.
我承认有时候会胡思乱想, 但也不是每一次. 在巴士上, 有时候看看杂志, 听听歌, 也是满享受的. 或者有时候累的话, 就看看窗外的风景, 看着他们上下车. 我真的好喜欢那种感觉. (:

可是, 有时候虽然是跟许多朋友在一起, 但心里却是寂寞的. 就好像没有什么共同的话题好聊, 微微一笑也只是掩饰自己, 我根本不是在做自己, 很别扭, 好讨厌. ):

所以啊, 有的时候我不介意或选择自己一个人, 一个人更轻松, 更能做回自己. 但我承认自己身边不能没有朋友, 朋友也是我生命中很重要的一部分. 我也很庆幸自己身边有一些知心的朋友, 一起聊心事, 逛逛街, 看看电影. 我都很享受跟他们相处的时刻. 所以老天爷, 愿我跟这些好朋友们的友谊能长久哦! :D
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梦境

那天我做了一个梦, 是我从没做过的梦. 那梦很真实, 也很甜.
我差点相信了, 睁开眼睛, 发现那终究只是一个梦, 一个根本不会成真的梦.

有人说梦是反映现实中的一些事情, 也有人说梦是现实中的相反.
有人说: ‘日有所思, 夜有所梦’, 也有人说梦里的人想见到你.
据我观察, 我的梦都是相反的, 所以梦到了开心的事情也不一定是好事.
但至少那时在梦里的我是快乐的......

The biggest lie I ever told.

2011-09-13T14:58:00.003+08:00

Lying to myself for so long, until the truth hits back.
Though the truth hurts, but lies are worse.
Till then, I told myself it's really time to let go.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2011-09-03T18:17:00.004+08:00

heh, you should know how much I love them! & one more lecture to go for tomorrow. I've already prepared my Nescafe coffee, in order to keep me awake in the morning lecture. hah, today went to King Albert's Park Mac after lecture. Whoa, there is really big, two-storey and I guess is a good place to study! (:

Alright, time to study! I mean later larh... hahah. 加油!

LOVELY SEPTEMBER! ♥

2011-09-02T22:45:00.005+08:00

HELLO my dear September! ♥ hehe, so many awesome events are coming up in this month. BIG SMILE! (: Yeah, I like those feelings that many many events are planned and awaiting for me! Sooo Sept, please please be good to me! Let everything runs on smoothly and let everything be NICE!

Although today has two 3-hour lectures, I'm fully awake during POA lecture! haha, with the help of my Nescafe coffee.♥ And that's the only lecture I understand till this moment & I love the lecturer! He's so so so funny, enjoy his lesson a lot! (: And after all my lectures, meet up with Wenlin for dinner at Bukit Timah Plaza! ♥

Oh ya, I finally got my new contact lens and coloured ones! ♥ oh ya oh ya, Christella and I went to my fav place yesterday, Changi Airport! ♥ How many times I've to say that I LOVE there so much! hehe. But really, everytime after I went there, I'ld feel recharged and everything feels great! Alright let me see...

♥ 8 Sept: Getting the cheque of my last month's pay and go Shopping with Chris! ( H&M, wait for me alright! )
♥15 Sept: Maybe going back to USS if we could get the FUN PASS!
♥21 Sept: Mummy's Birthday!
♥25 Sept: Meeting up with my dear clique for picnic @ Marina Baarage & Birthday Celebration; and meeting up with PERFECT 10! ( yes, both clash but I guess I'ld still attend both de )

SUPER SEPTEMBER! haha. Anyway, this saturday and sunday still have classes but I'll survive it. Next monday has the first PBF test, wish me luck. Sept, let's be sweet alright! ♥

You can't have a rainbow, without a little rain.

2011-08-30T00:25:00.002+08:00

Phew, getting back to USS to work tomorrow, just for one day. A bit of anxiety, don't know what's the reason. I guess it's just because hasn't been there for eleven days le barh. I hope there doesn't change much. And has been the eighth days since school started. And still, a lot of tutorials are piling up. >.<

Everything is back to the same routine, go school and go home right after school, nothing much. Pray that everything would get better barh!xD Anyway, going to my favourite place this coming thursday! (: That's the only thing that I would be looking forward this week. hehe. Alright, that's about it. What can you expect from my this boring school life? Maybe should join a CCA soon? hehe, to brighten up my life a bit. (: Okay, time to turn in and be more energetic for tomorrow's work! :D

Cheer Me On! ^.^

2011-08-24T22:02:00.003+08:00

YAY!! :D Meeting up with my colleagues tomorrow for dinner. So Happy! (: It has been almost a week since I last saw them le, miss them much. And tomorrow would be catching 'Final Destination 5' with Christella, super duper excited! (: and I just missed those days when I'm working. I could go anywhere I want during my off days, I do not have to worry about schoolwork and I'm leading a carefree life every day.

Yes, I told myself I've to move on no matter what. I've to adapt to my new school life as fast as possible. But it's just the first week of school, and I've to worry about my presentation and stressed about schoolwork. Seriously, I've to buck up le, no more procrastination. I've to organise my schedule well and get my tutorials done as soon as possible. Starting from tomorrow onwards, CHEER ME ON! (:

BIG SMILE! (: I'm looking forward to tomorrow~ I'm looking forward towards that~

But still have to say, a lot of things are piling up for me to be done. Hence Szeyee, PLEASE GET THEM DONE ASAP!

Starting Anew.

2011-08-21T22:41:00.005+08:00

18.08.11

Last day of work in Fujifilm USS. )); It's like when you come to the last day, you'll start to cherish everything for the one last time. The last time of everything. And it'll actually make you wonder if things hasn't been the way it should be, how it'll turn out be instead. I went back to see the post that I wrote on my first day of work, it makes me realised how the eight months have passed so fast, rewinding back all the memories, with joy and laughter, with anger and misery. But one thing for sure, I've never regretted working here. (: It's just one day, and I missed my colleagues already, I missed working there and everything. And I really have to find something to do when I'm free if not I'll just ROT at home, so I really hope my application of working at RWS could be approved soon. Please God, take me through this.

Anyway, had a little farewell gathering for those who're leaving @ HOOTERS. Have fun, took a lot of photos that would surely bring back a lot of memories when I looked back next time. I hope I could spare some time out to upload all the photos (ALOT!) sooon. I really hope I could meet up with my Darkroom peeps soon, MISS THEM~ ♥

PS: Goodbyes make you think of what you had, what you lost, and what you took for granted.

21.08.11
Alright, what I've been trying to be running from, still arrived. THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! )); Oh gosh, almost nine months hasn't been working on schoolwork, I hope everything would turn out fine and I could adapt to my school life soon. And I really hope it'll be a good, new beginning for me, an awesome three years Uni life. (: God Bless. Okay, I should be sleeping soon, going to wake up super early tomorrow and have two 3-hours lectures. )):

GOODNIGHT PEEPS! ♥ Believe that tomorrow would be a better day! (:

Don't Say Goodbye.

2011-08-12T01:09:00.004+08:00

Worst day of my job ever! Damn angry! :@ If I made a mistake and get scolded, I'm okay with it. But, I made no mistake and get scolded by a customer, saying that I'm not flexible with the rules. She's really testing my patience, this is the first time that I'm showing my temper to a customer. WTH. What a bad day! ):

Oh God please, I'm just left with five days of my work, make it a pleasant and memorable one alright! And I'm rather short-tempered today, I guess I know the reason why. Everyone is weird today, having our mood swings, bothering about our own problems. ):

You're working today, I know. C told me that. She's coming back with W to see you, to take photo with you for the last time, I guess. I suggested that to her. So, I can't blame anyone right? She came back to show me that photo. I smiled. I envied her for that moment for having that photo with you. But, just for that moment. Because I believed that I've to let go of it slowly, if not I'm just making myself miserable then.

Oh ya, I made a wish at 11:11 today. I wished to see you again for the one last time. It came true. It really came true. Yeah that's gonna be the last time I'm going to see you. I promised myself that this post that I'm typing right now would be the very last one that I'm writing about you. I hope I won't break the promise. (:

I hope C would get over it soon after knowing the truth, the truth that is so painful for her to know, that I'm trying to hide away from her. I thought I could hide it, but in the end she still found it out. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, causing you to have those hopes. I totally understand that kind of feeling you're going through right now. I'm sorry! D:

Alright, five more days to count down. I hope every tomorrow would be a better day! (: and everything about you would end as well, together with this post. (:

I revived.

2011-08-05T22:40:00.007+08:00

Being happy for the past few days. I'm glad for myself too when I realised that. This is like you don't expect anything when you wake up in the morning, you don't think too much when you're going to work and you don't hope for something for the day. Realising that you don't live for anyone else but just you yourself, in life there're many other things that are worth living for. I think that's the reason that keeps me smiling for the past few days. (:

And today, really have to thank Zhiting for accompanying me all the way to Tampines and back to Clementi. A long trip though, thanks alot Zhiting! And we've a great chat on the bus, on the train. Time always passes fast when I'm with her. Phew, and everything is finally settled for my school! I can have a good sleep tonight le!xD hehe.

And now, I'm counting down. 10 more days. Ten more days of squeezing in the MRT to Harbourfront. Ten more days of taking the staff bus to USS. Ten more days in staying in Darkroom with all my lovely colleagues, wearing that blue uniform. Ten more days of meeting up with Wenlin & Christella for lunch at Take5. Ten more days of looking forward to closing time @ 7.30pm. Ten more days of deciding what to eat @ Vivo City for dinner. TEN MORE DAYS! Time really flies, eight months have gone. I still remember my first day of work, excited about my workplace, trying out my new uniform, meeting new people. All these would be kept well in my mind, named 'Sweet Memories'.♥

And upcoming next would be the first day of school in SIM. Well, I should start looking forward to that, be prepared for my next new chapter of my life. (:

A Superb Weekend, followed by a bad day.

2011-07-22T00:21:00.007+08:00

16.07.2011
I still remember that I'm so excited about that day because Mummy promised me to get my lovely laptop and camera. FINALLY! I'ld be able to cancel these two off my wishlist which have stayed there for a long time. BIG SMILE! (:

19.07.2011
That day, I counted. That would be the sixth times I went back Universal Studios to play. It's a Tuesday, with lesser crowd of course. C told me that you'll be working that day but, once again it's just a disappointment. I'm used to it. But, it's still a great day spent with my colleagues afterall!xD

21.07.2011
Today, I'm bored to tears in Darkroom because there're only two people working. PATHETIC. Everything's alright, until the moment we were going home together. C told me. I went silent and smiled. The next moment I really don't feel like talking. I plugged in my earpiece. Pardon me. C and W really tolerated this emotional me. Sorry! But, I really have no mood for anything.

And we went for Mac's AGAIN. And W told me something that should be quite shocking. But, I take it well. I'm quite surprised at myself too, is it because I realised it long ago? Just like yesterday, I saw you'all walking out of the store together happily, I don't understand why I've that kind of feeling. JEALOUSY? I don't know why I start to bother about it? I'm confused.

22.07.2011; 01:00

I feel really vexed now. I can't wait to get everything off my mind. Is it worth it all this while? I've to keep reminding myself not to do something I'ld regret in future. I'm done with it, seriously. I'd fall so many times that I don't bother to get up anymore. People tell me to go after it if I wanted it so much. At least you tried, you've no regrets; they said. No, I don't feel that way, sorry. What's mine is mine, anything that don't belongs to me, would never belong to me no matter how hard I tried. I'ld rather give it up, call me a coward or anything that you want. I don't care. I admit I'm not as brave as you. I'ld still feel this way. Even if you like something so much but you know it don't suit you, why still bother to hold it so tightly and make yourself feel terrible. But still, it's easier to be said than done. The only thing harder than letting go is moving on.

PS: Thanks H! Making me laugh after this long and tiring day. (:

Let time freeze at this moment.

2011-07-11T22:10:00.004+08:00

Went to the SIM Enrolment Talk today, totally bored to the max. Can't imagine myself going to have lecture like that. Tell me, how am I going to start school with this kind of attitude. Oh god.

Have to start work tomorrow le, hehe, at least something to look forward to. Catching a movie, Monte Carlo with my dear girls after work. (: It has been a long time since we can go out together after work, miss those days that we can't decide what to eat after work, those good old days that we walked around Vivocity after our dinner. It's all because of the extended working hours to 10pm, that we can't have all these anymore!

Alright, hehe, looking forward to getting new laptop and my lovely camera this coming Saturday! Hope everything would turn out well please. (: And 19th July going back USS to have a CRAZY time for the last time I guess before I leave there. And meeting my dear Ahya on the 22nd July before her school starts. And meeting my dear Zhiting too, hope she could make it on either day. I wished time could freeze now, don't want school to start so soon, still can enjoy my HAPPY TIME!

The hardest battle to fight are the ones with yourself, telling your mind to stop liking him, even your heart still does.

With her around, always a happy day!

2011-07-06T23:26:00.003+08:00

Went to our 老地方today! Had Astons for our lunch, the ambience there is real good! (: Relaxing and peaceful. And we don't need to waste our time queueing up, serving of food is fast as well. hehe. And shop shop there, a new place to hang out to shop! heheh.

And went to Illuma to watch our long-awaiting LADDALAND! Oh god, we got scared so many times! It's a great movie though, but with sad ending. ); Didn't get to drink our favourite, KOI, miss it so muchie! And have our dinner at V8 Cafe, first time eating there, not bad though. Hahah. An Awesome Day! :D

-tomorrow not working too, have to pack my room le, so messy! Oh god!
Next event coming up will be the SIM Enrolment Talk on 11July, make me realise that school is starting soon, have to be prepared.(:

blanked out.

2011-07-06T00:23:00.005+08:00

I don't want to let people see the weakest side of me, to let them know how stupid I'm. But, I really can't just keep it to myself, I really have to say it out, to you my dear diary. I really hate myself when I land myself in this kind of shit, when I'm the only one bothering about this. I really have to say I Miss You Masri Chia, every single moment, you know? I cried for a person I don't even talk to before and every time, realising how I've missed the chance again to meet you. We don't have the affinity to even meet. STUPID SZEYEE! Causing yourself so much harm to someone who don't even give a damn about you, not to say to miss you. I'm really sorry, I really want to forget him, but I can't bring myself to do that. Firstly, is your appearance that has attracted me, but after that, realising the past between you and your ex-girlfriend, you really moved me. I have never met a guy like you before, I really thought this kind of guy has already been extinct. Every time I read your blog again, my tears would well up my eyes, you're really a perfect guy. Maybe it's not fate that don't want us to meet, maybe is you who don't want to even see me. Okay, over here maybe I can't promise myself not to miss you, but I'll promise myself to forget you. I still like you, no matter what, till the day you're totally off my mind.

It contradicts for all that you know.

2011-07-03T23:36:00.004+08:00

When I say I'm alright, it means I'm not.
When I say I don't care, it means I do care.
When I say I don't bother, it means it still bothers me.

These would be the times that my heart and my mind don't listen to each other, they contradict themselves. So please, know me well. Know when I'm speaking the truth or telling a lie when I myself don't even know how to.

Smile like you're beautiful.

2011-07-02T00:29:00.003+08:00

I finally dye my hair again today!:D to copper brown and highlighted it with dark blonde. hehe. Hope it won't be too striking for work. hehe. And today went out and found a tour agency which provides guided tour for Batam trip! YIPPEE! FINALLY! & I told Mummy about that and she kind of let me go le. haha. So, maybe the first week of August, I'll be going Batam for holidays!♥

Kind of pissed off just now. You told me maybe you could change the schedule, in the end you never inform me of anything. And everything is still the same. WHAT'S THIS!! You change the schedule last minute okay? And I do have my own plans alright!

Anyway, tomorrow have to work PM shift and can't meet my secondary school clique le. ); That's alright, I still have to live on with it. Just keep on smiling, alright? (: Expect nothing and you'd be surprised of something.♥

Joyful July!

2011-07-01T01:08:00.004+08:00

It makes you freaking sad to listen to a sad song when you're feeling sad. But, I'd still listened to it anyway, cuz it sort of calms you down, making you feel somehow peaceful.

It's the first day of July, realising how time has indeed passed so fast. As usual, I've came up with my own wishlist.
♥ Samsung ST700 Camera
♥ Polaroid (still thinking of which model should I get?)
With these, half of my June's pay would be gone. );

July, would be indeed a better month hopefully. Everything's planned. But, that's only for my off days, as of in term of work, please please be good. Let my last month of working be enjoyable please!

-How? I feel like going there again! BAD GIRL! ):

Looking at the stars, wishing for you.♥

2011-06-30T00:56:00.003+08:00

Many things to be said. As said in my previous post, you've already been hidden so well at the deepest side of my heart. But, WHY? You dug it out and left me there alone once again to bury it. You know, it does take me a long period of time to do that. I'm afraid that's the last time I'm going to see you. So close yet so far. Cuz you're leaving and I'm going to leave soon as well. I'm not sure if I'm coming back, I don't want you to be reason of even if I'm going to. I still remember my friend once asked me, 'What's Eyecandy?', 'How do you know he's just an Eyecandy?'. I don't know how to answer him. But, today I know the answer, I finally understand the difference between Eyecandy and someone you like. (: Anyway, it just left me one more month to continue with all these. After that, I'm going to start my new chapter of life, leaving all these behind. I'm able to do that, I'd be able to. Mushroom head.♥

I'm terribly upset right now because most of my colleagues that I'm close with are leaving, one of them is my batch-mate who left yesterday. Haiyo, why must your left before me? ); But, I've to tell myself once again, there're many people who would come into your life and left. That has been my weakness always, can't bear to leave somewhere when I've strong feelings towards the people and places there. One more month, I'm going to leave here, no more extension, I told myself.

One last thing, I SO WANNA GO FOR A HOLIDAY before my school starts!! Plan is to go Bintan for two to three days. But, Mummy only allows me to go if I'm going with a group of friends and not just three girls. Or another option is to go with tour agency but I still can't find one now. God, please bless me. Let me go for a GETAWAY to somewhere please. Make this possible. (;

hehe, everything I wanna said is all out now, feel more relaxed.(: I still can't sleep, don't know why. But, anyway doing PM shift later on so can wake up a little bit late uh. And looking forward towards my next few off days, all are planned. Shopping!♥ Dyeing my hair!♥ And meeting up with Zhiting!!♥ Long time since I last saw her, miss her badly. Oh ya, I've been putting on some weight lately due to the main culprit: MACDONALD'S cuz recently have been working till quite late, hence only left with Mac's to settle my dinner cum supper. hehe. Feeling damn guilty. Bleh.

Alright, I think it's time to turn in even though I can't seem to fall asleep or else tomorrow would be yawning all day long. Hahhs. Goodnights♥, would update soon once I'm free again. (;

You're just a Fiction.

2011-06-25T00:26:00.002+08:00

I admit I was super happy the moment I heard that.
But, after much thinking, I was happy only for that moment.
I'm not going to be the lucky one.
Lady Luck is always not on my side.
I'm afraid that the one you're referring to is not me once again.
I dare not pin high hope this time round.
I'm scared.
I'm scared that the higher I'd fall.
True, after much thinking, we do have many similarities that I'm afraid you can't differentiate.
You'd have mistook her as me.
I've had enough.
I've already put it aside, forgetting about it as time goes by.
But now, just your one question, you dig it all out again.
I've buried it so well.
It's alright, to me, you're just a fiction.
No matter what the real answer is, I don't wish to know.
Because I've a intuition that it's not me again.

Yours sincerely
Szeyee

♥ the way being myself.

2011-06-02T17:36:00.007+08:00

Woohoo~

June is here! Time flies, we're already halfway past 2011.

hehe, today is my offday but I've to work four days straight after today including two full-shifts. ]: Slacking at home, sleep like nobody's business until half past noon.

}: Can't join clique for XiaoQi's birthday celebration at Changi Airport.

}: Alone at home this Saturday and Sunday.

hehe, I realised being happy or sad, the answer always lies within us. Expect nothing and you'll be surprised of something. Human is always like that, likes to dream but always gets disappointed when things does not go the way that we want it to. Actually, it all depends on the way of thinking that we have; we dream to live, we live to dream. It just depends how we take upon disappointment and still dare to dream no matter what.

{: I love where I'm working right now.

{; I love the life that I'm having right now.

I have to know that it's okay to be unhappy at some times, but not at all times. It'll affect those who care and love you. So for now, when I'm sad, I'll just cry it all out and forget all about it the next moment. Anyway, it depends all on me right! hehe. I want those who care and love me to be happy, so at the first place, I've to achieve that as well. [:

haha, my pay is still not yet in! Oh gosh, but my list of things that I want is keep on going. Oh ya, for the past few days, I've been having FOC sauna, drain every sweat out of me. Wondering why? Because the air-con for the entire theme park is under service! I really hope the air-con will be doing fine tomorrow! heh.

Smile & Laugh.♥

2011-05-19T00:09:00.006+08:00

I just wanna be happy, back to the cheerful me.
Facing a brand new day with a smile, I promise.

Ps: I so wanna watch Kungfu Panda 2!!xD & getting my Adidas jacket soon!!♥
Alrights, it's time to turn in. Goodynight!♥ A better day ahead!

2011-05-18T19:28:00.003+08:00

这到底是要靠缘分，还是努力?? A game of two, with more players joining in is not fun at all. This is not gonna to be the more the merrier, instead it'll be the more the messier. In the game of yours, I know I'm not going to be the main player, instead I'm just a spectator. It's okay. I'll have my own game, I just have to wait, to wait for my turn.

To meet someone you love and who will love you back is not easy at all.

Again I'd fall, and bleeding inside.

2011-05-08T23:58:00.004+08:00

oh please, this's contradictory. I just wanna catch one sight of you every day, know more about you, whether you're working and all the stuffs about you. But, it does hurt badly when she is the one who tells me everything about you, and how much she wants to see you, how you smile at her and every cute action you've done. I had enough, why every time I saw someone so perfect and I'm just not the one you know. Seriously, I've to put on a fake smile where no one else realised. I've to continue to joke with you'all and say it does not matter at all, I don't bother. All are lies, do you know that? Alright, I'm not as initiative as her, I'm not as courageous as her to say hi to you or even take a photo with you. From now on, I'll just stay silent until the moment that I start to forget you. MC.

2011-05-07T22:12:00.002+08:00

To my dearest mummy,

♥ HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!♥ You're the BEST Mummy ever in the whole wide world!! You're the one who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can replace. You're the one who sacrifice for us & never ask anything in return. You're the one who truly love us, care for us. I LOVE YOU TOO, MUMMY!!♥

hehe, we went to Manhattan Fish Market for dinner in celebration of Mother's Day.:D Although tomorrow is the actual date, but I've to work so can't accompany Mummy. ): This year Mother's Day reminds me of something, I still remember last year Mother's Day, Yeye & Popo were here with us in Singapore. Hence, we decided to go to Wang Jiao HongKong's cafe to celebrate, we bought flowers for Mummy & Popo. (: That's the moment that I can't rewind back and would always stay in my heart. Thinking of that, time passed really fast, Yeye had left us for almost one year, 17th June would be his first death anniversary. I really miss him and wonder how's he doing right now. 爷爷，我好想你! 我好想再跟你一起坐在客厅看电视，一起吃一顿饭，一起到公园散步. 爷爷......

Melody of love. ♥

2011-05-06T00:38:00.005+08:00

To me, you're priceless. But to you, I'm nothing.

天上一万颗星星，我却只看见你，要说这是幸运，还是不可思议.
身边有太多风景，我却停在这里，说我傻得可以，还不是因为你.

Days to be remembered & be looking forward to ♥:
♥ 7 May: Mummy's day celebration. Yet to decide where to go for dinner ( KUSHINBO please! ) & have a surprise for my dear Mummy. (:

♥ 11 May: Xiangqin's birthday celebration. Meeting my dear clique~ ( Oopsie, haven't get Ah Qin's birthday pressie! ._. )

♥ 15 May: Journey to Universal Studios with Daddy, Mummy, Brother & YenChin JieJie!! Sky & Weather, please be good on that day! Enjoyable day ahead! :D

Updating my current life:
* Extending 2 more months of my contract in Fujifilm USS, even though I realised work's getting worse recently. ):

* Saving up for my lovely ADDIDAS Jacket!! & UNIQLO Checkered shirt. hehe.xD

* Waiting for my fringe to be trimmed, maybe next Wednesday??

* ♥ my current life & hope this can continue and never end. Wishing everyday that everything would go on smoothly & BE HAPPY!! That's all. 8D

PS: My dear diary, please bless me that tomorrow would be a better day .♥. --Silly me.

The only player in this game.

2011-04-29T01:21:00.003+08:00

The more I know, the more it hurts. I feel stupid. I should stop everything NOW.

Is everything destined? I still remember that day I've a small tiff with Wenlin and in the end we did not have lunch together at one. I ate with Len instead at three. That should be the first time I saw you. At that time, I don't bother. I should not have told Christella about you and everything would not have started. In the end, is her that you know.

Right now, I don't bother to care anymore. I just want to be normal, everything back to normal. I don't want to be a fool, playing around your own jokes. Alright, stop that! Be mature and everything will be fine. This game should not continue anymore. GAME OVER!

favourite hello & hardest goodbye.

2011-04-28T01:02:00.003+08:00

It feels totally awful when she keeps telling you everything between him & her. What you can do is just smile and listen. What else can you say? Worst still, you've to deny every single fact that actually you like him too.

I can't sleep, many things just crammed in my mind and refused to come out. Seriously, I should stop all this nonsense. The harder I wished, the more it'll not come true. Feel so wanna to go for a long vacation now!! & I think it's time to visit my secret place again. (:

Do you know it takes a lot of courage to look into your eyes & your smile simply makes my day.♥

Relying on you.

2011-04-20T00:31:00.004+08:00

Life would be better if I get to know you, but are you the one?
Right now, I don't think so. I believe it's just a crush.
I admit that my heart would race super fast when I see you, but that's normal right?
It's a trap that I don't wish to be fallen into again.
A trap that I tried so hard to climb out of & get wounded all over.
Not that stupid to do it again, but what if it's a hidden trap that I don't realise.♥

Live. Laugh. Love.♥

2011-04-13T00:32:00.004+08:00

Yupes, FISH went to Changi Airport with GUIN today. (: I still love the feeling at the viewing mall in T1 alot alot. How I wish I could go there almost every other day. Hehe. Time to sleep! Wake up to a better tomorrow, I hope. SMILE! ;D

You're my kind of perfect.

2011-04-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

The day before yesterday, I saw you. I can't believe my very own eyes. My heart started to race fast. The train came. The songs that remind me of you played. Everything flashed through my mind. I prayed. I prayed to be able to catch just one more sight of you. To my surprise, I still miss you. You're the very first one that I tried so hard to forget yet can't. Because you're my kind of perfect.♥

我相信.

2011-04-04T18:54:00.005+08:00

我宁可信其有.

其实，我讨厌被人拨开自己的心，被他们看到了那隐藏在心底的秘密，那我从没提起过的事实. 自己就好像没了保护墙，不知往哪里躲才好? 矛盾的是我也想看透别人的心，想知道他们在想些什么，有着什么烦恼. 呵呵，我也太自私了吧? 但我宁可不要知道别人的心事，也不要人家完全地了解我的想法.

我相信，我相信他说的话，因为每一件事他都说得很对，每一件事都说中了我的心里话. 但我不想它发生，我更害怕它会发生，但我能改变命运吗?

Lovely day.

2011-03-26T23:04:00.006+08:00

LOVE.

My Lovely colleagues.

JUMP SHOT!!

How I wish every single day is like that. Nothing to worry about. 想去哪里就去哪里. But, I know. This kind of life is going to end soon. I've to 珍惜every minute of that. & be prepared for my new life soon!! xD

真的好想好想好想出国旅游哦!! :D

♥ Hope I can see you tomorrow, how I wish I can see you every day.

幸福可以很简单.

2011-03-20T00:17:00.003+08:00

今天就还蛮开心的，是因为一个customer. 她大概十多岁，身旁有两个眼睛失明的父母. 就昨天啊，她要拍我们的Chromakey photo. 但是，就这么的不巧，system 刚好down. 就只好叫她多几个小时后再回来，but 几个小时后，她回来了but the system was still down unfortunately. 看得出她真的好失望哦. However, around 15minutes later, the system has been fixed. I tried to look for her but 还是找不到. ): But, 今天她又回来了，看到她时我好开心哦. 没想到她还会再回来!! 真开心，终于能帮她拍到了照片. 那照片是她和她两个失明的爸爸妈妈，他们也拍得很开心，真的是一个很好的纪念. 我不知道为什么，但看到他们终于能拍到了照片，我也很开心. 其实，幸福开心也可以那么简单，只是往往我们都喜欢把东西看得太重，太复杂化. (:

Oh ya, heard that tonight's moon will be the largest out of the past ( don't know how many ) years. It's really true & there are so many shining stars in the night sky. Make me really excited. Heheh. xD I'll be smiling in my dreams tonight. Goody Goody Nighty. :D

秘密

2011-03-19T00:13:00.003+08:00

Everyone has secrets. Beneath your heart, there lies the secret you would not want others to know. However, at the same time, you do have the temptation to tell the others. But, once you've said it out, it is no longer considered as a secret.

I choose not to think about it too much. I choose not to tell the others.

This is to stop myself from being more miserable.

Even you choose to tell the others, would they stop & choose to listen to you?

To them, you're nothing.

Airplane-ey wishes.

2011-03-13T00:13:00.004+08:00

I REALLY want to go Changi Airport to see airplanes!! xD Miss there!!

If I could really use a wish right now, what would it be??

Turn back the time. That's all for now.

Alrights, pray hard for tomorrow. Time to sleep, GOODNIGHTS. (;

错误的决定.

2011-03-11T20:13:00.007+08:00

I've made the wrong choice today. You don't give a damn sh!t, yet I've been worried much. You didn't give me the slightest hint, luckily I'm prepared for it. I feel like a stupid idiot. There would be no second time. This will be the first & last time that I'm even looking down of myself. Hate that sucky feeling seriously.

I admit that I've made tiny weeny changes due to you. Not any more. Frankly speaking, I'm not mad at you, & not jealous of course. I'm just angry of myself for thinking too much. From now on, I would not give a damn of you anymore. You've already became someone that I don't know once again. THE END.

PS: Something to be glad about today, I've finally conquered BSG (the two roller coasters- Human & Cylon in USS). So Shiok. & I need not lie to the customers anymore. Hahaha. No regrets. (:

原点

2011-03-11T00:02:00.006+08:00

Everything has been back to square one. As usual, I've so much to tell, that I don't know where to start from. I'm so frustrated about almost every single thing, in areas of studies, work, family, friends & many many more.

How I wish I could go overseas for a vacation right now, even for just a few days. You can say that I'm trying to run away from reality or just taking a short break in between. I JUST WANT TO GO OVERSEAS. WITH NO WORRIES AT ALL. FINDING BACK THE ONE WHO CAN SMILE TRUELY FROM THE BOTTOM OF HER HEART. That needs time. I know. I'm just waiting.

Fortunately, she still has a bunch of WONDERFUL friends who stay by her side & gave her the support and concern that she needed a lot. As for her family, she is still not very sure. She knows her family loves her a a lot. But, the love that they're giving her is in a different way. A way that is not direct, a way that needs time to think through & a way that she is still trying very hard to accept.

As you know, she will continue to stay strong but I don't know how long can she lasts.

PS: Zhiting, thanks for the letter!! :D I've receive it le. So 开心&感动 arh. xD & do you mind sending me your address as well? I want to return you mail too. Heheh. Miss you.

I'm not a SUPERWOMAN!

2011-02-21T23:24:00.004+08:00

It has been a long time since I came here for my previous post. I always wanted to blog, but I just don't have time. Truthfully speaking, I don't know if I was unsure of something or just wanted to 逃避. I really don't wish to think/wonder about something that is so unrealistic, so I just 一天过一天. I don't have any plans for the future. Neither would I wish to plan right now. That's why I'm worried for my own self in the days to come. Just like a wooden boat, floating at the surface of the water, in the middle of the ocean, can't catch a sight of any island.

In fact, I've so much to say that I don't know where should I start. So much that I start to forget. So much that I'm too tired to tell. So much that it's too painful to bear. Well, another problem came to me today. Every single week is like has one or two shocking news that I really need some time to accept and left me there pondering. Can you ever give me some SURPRISES rather than all these SHOCKING news?! The more I know, the more I realised the ugly truth.

Okay, think right now, I'm not in the right state of mind to say all of these. I shall stop blabbering, and go to sleep. & believe that tomorrow will be a better day.

*The other part of me: Stop deceiving yourself, please! Choose to know the truth, rather than staying in the literal world with pack of lies. Right?

新的开始.

2011-02-02T01:05:00.006+08:00

好快哦，一个月又这样的过去了，今天就是新年除夕了. 完全没有以往所有的感觉，没有焦虑，没有紧张，没有因为有四天的假期而开心，但却还是抱着一些些的期待. 一切都顺其自然吧，不再去强求太多.

最近也好忙哦，连续做了四天的工，每一天回到家就冲凉睡觉了. 根本没有多余的时间和精神去想一些事情. 一些事情听听就算了，也不会去顾虑得太多，不知是好还是坏. 一些东西也不敢去想太多，怕一有了开始，就会没完没了. 总之，我对这种事情总是没缘，又何必去想太多呢?

新的一年，新的开始吧! 也是时候赚多一点的钱，好好的打算如何花在有益处的地方，充实一下自己了. 也是时候要改变自己，自己的态度，行为等. 也是时候好好的把自己的房间整理的舒舒服服的了. 也是时候花多一点的时间与家人相处，约一约朋友出来叙旧了. 是时候规划一下自己的时间了.

希望家人和朋友都能身体健康，心想事成，快快乐乐，幸幸福福. :D

Funfair

2011-01-25T01:00:00.005+08:00

okay, so today I'm told that I've been confirmed that I'ld be transferring to BSG (Battlestar Galactica)-new attraction. I really don't know how should I feel. But, one thing that I'm sure is I abit不舍得the colleagues in Darkroom. Anyway, they're the first few people that I've known & I've been used to their ways of doing things.

okay, I hope I can adapt to my new leader's way of doing things soon. & things will get better & more exciting in a new environment with new team members. PLEASE. GOD BLESS. (:

okay, so a few more REMINDERS:

1. La la la la in Serangoon NEX tomorrow.

2. Dinner@ Breeks Cafe ( Darkroom&Roving ).

3. 8 more days in getting SALARY$$.

4. 9 more days to Chinese New Year's Eve.

ALERT!! People, please take good care of yourselves. Many have been falling sick already. Have adequate rest & drink more water. It's really心痛to see the ones you cared are falling ill. Right now, the number of people has increased to FOUR!!

PS: I saw a tourist who is very帅today. Oh gosh, 花痴-ing.

okay, that's all. May this happy mood maintains in me for the next post & more to come. hahahs.xD 加油!!

walk towards your happiness.

2011-01-20T23:21:00.003+08:00

Everything is going on the right track. I hope this continues on.

PS: I feel like writing about something but, I don't know what to write about. xD

BYE!!

爱哭鬼

2011-01-13T23:51:00.002+08:00

我承认我是爱哭鬼又怎样??

I Really wish everything that is unhappy can be gone SOON & FOREVER!!
I don't wish to write anything negative over here. I don't want to get reminded of the things that is happening right now. Hence, I'll just complain. DAMN IT!! DAMN IT!! ):

PS: I really appreciate the concern from my friends. Hahahs. Thanks arh. Sorry for all the complaining. Ignore me please. 思漪will be fine soon. REALLY SOON!! xD

Do you hear me??

2011-01-12T15:07:00.004+08:00

DEAR DIARY,

真的是好好噢，今天不用做工，可以睡到自然醒，十二点多才起来. 现在都很懒惰出门，只想在家里休息. Hahahs. 已经工作了十天，其实还不错啦，已经慢慢地习惯了，学到了不少东西. Hahahs. 那里的人也都还好，遇到的旅客，有些很好笑，有些却很不耐烦，有些语言不同，就得比手画脚. Hahahs. (:

至于工作环境，还满复杂的，再也不是以前的那么简单了，不同的人说不同的话，如果不是自己相信的人，绝对不能把自己的心里话说出来，最重要就是STAY NEUTRAL. 还有其实不只是对顾客才要主动地笑，对家人朋友也是，不用管他们会不会smile back，至少你已经主动地踏出那一步了. 但是，做工有的笑，也有的气. (就是不懂才要问吗，有错meh??) 算了，不想去想些气人的事情.

其实，还有件事情真得让人很烦，因为end of January, 会有个新的Attraction, hence my team leader said maybe I'll be transferred to that. However, she asked me whether I would like to stay over my current department or transferred to that new attraction. Currently, I'm working with Wenlin in this department, hence I have been given three choices.

第一: Stay over in this department with Wenlin.

第二: I transferred out to the new attraction.

第三: Wenlin transferred out to the new attraction.

okay, it may seem simple and easy to decide. BUT, IT'S NOT!! My team leader told me, last time she had a good friend working with her as well. But, after some time, they had conflicts just because of some minor things. & she does not want our friendship to be ruined because of work as well. I totally understand what she meant, I've been through this as well. Fortunately, it's over. Maybe she's right, cos' I've a feeling that it's going to start again. But, I'm still in dilemma. I really need someone who I can talk to, who understand the whole situation & tell me what I should really do. Which way is the best?? I DON'T KNOW. Please tell me.

我怀念的.

2011-01-05T23:27:00.005+08:00

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的，有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃.

其实有件事情我以前很努力地想把它给忘记，现在已渐渐地淡忘，直到有人在次提起.
虽然已没像往前的那么痛了，但还是很在意，很在意它的答案，根本不想去接受.
直到我遇到了'大师', 我根本没说什么，但他却懂我在想什么，给了我一个答案.
我接受了，即使那不是我想象的结果. 原来这件事情一直以来都困扰着我，而我却不知道.

等不到的爱情.....

First day of work.

2011-01-04T14:31:00.004+08:00

First day of work at USS. Pretty fun. I mean the tour & the crew members there. Whole new experience, the staff bus& THE BACK OF THE HOUSE which is for the staff& everything is COOL. But, everyday will be SUPER busy & I've to get used to it. God Bless. (:

And the worst thing is I still have to work during Chinese New Year!! What!? That means I can't go back malaysia for CNY!! I've to stay alone in Singapore!! T.T It sucks. The WORST CNY I ever had!!

okay, enough of all the complaining. I've to be positive. It's a new year, a new job anyway. JIAYOU!! xD I just hope everything will go on smoothly & most importantly, enjoy the moments there. (:

PS: Haish, would not be coming here so frequently le, except for my offdays. Cos' reach home from work also around 10pm le. Tired. :X

PPS: 还是读书比较好，这么多快乐的时光!! ;D

oh ya, hope I can change my department. Please. I don't want work until so late even though there is OTs. Hahahs. 加油吧，思漪!!

你不懂.

2010-12-27T23:19:00.005+08:00

My dearest diary,

为什么要我做我不喜欢的事情啊? 我知道那有可能是为我好，但我就是不喜欢嘛. 自己不喜欢的事情做了哪会开心啊? 哪里可以这个样子啊? 气死我了啦!! 啊......，现在的心情超不好的，希望睡了一觉明天醒来就好了. D;

往事

2010-12-26T17:15:00.004+08:00

突然想起曾经有人问我一个问题，我给了他一个答案，但现在我才发现那个答案根本不是答案，更不是解决问题的方法.

"怎样才能忘记一个你喜欢或爱的人?"
"喜欢上另一个人吧，那你就能忘了他."

现在才发现这其实根本不容易，真正喜欢上了一个人，是不可能这么轻易地把他给忘记的. 以前的我是多么的傻，竟然给了他这么一个答案. 但是，以后我再也不会跟别人这么说了.

其实真正的忘记，是不需要努力的.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2010-12-25T00:45:00.003+08:00

HOHOHO!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! ;D
hahahs. SANTA is here, tell me all your wishes.

I'm really happy today, okay I mean yesterday. Not because of the Christmas Celebration, but I finally find a job that I really want. I can't believe it myself that I'm going to work in UNIVERSAL STUDIO!! :D ;D oh gosh, I'm really excited right now. I really hope everything goes on smoothly and Zhiting gets the job as well. So, we can get to work together with LOTS OF FUN!! So, SANTA. Now you've known my wishes, please grant it. hahahs.

& a NEW YEAR is coming. I just hope 2011 comes faster cos' 2010 is not a good year for me. I want to start a brand new life in a brand new year. :P

With much love,
Szeyee

CRAZY FAMILY.

2010-12-20T00:48:00.003+08:00

CRAZY FAMILY.
Hahahs, I mean my family.

You know what!? Yesterday, my bro switched on the TV and saw FOX broadcasting 'The Walking Dead' and then the whole family started to sit down & watch. & then we realised it's the Walking Dead Marathon, it'll continuously be played from 11plus to 4.10am. & we watch continuously like a movie. Oh no. xD But, the show is really nice & SCARY!! Imagine all the zombies. hahahs.

A FUN ONE xD

2010-12-18T22:35:00.009+08:00

10.41pm.

around one more hour.

to start my life with a no. 18.

OLDER. but like Zhiting has said, more MATURE.

hahahs. Birthday Celebration@Pizzahut with friends. & bowling after that. :D One word: HAPPY! LOVE them. Really appreciated what they have done. Those prezzies, the birthday cake, the birthday card, the CELEBRATION! (((:

Bakers: Shiya & Siemin (: 世界上独一无二的哦!!

& the card beautifully done. luvluv. (:

STATUE OF LIBERTY: Wenlin 姐姐

and now 17 years of my life is going to pass. It reminds me not to waste my time anymore.

Must 珍惜what I have now. my family. my friends. & everything.

SPECIAL THANKS TO: ZHITING.SHIYA.XIANGQIN.SIEMIN.RUIYANG.WENLIN.

PHOTO CREDITS: AH YA. AH YANG.

By the way, diary. Do you know what I wish for my birthday?? hahahs.

1st wish: I wish that all the people around me will be healthy, happy no worry all year round.

2nd wish: I wish I can find a job that I like soon.

3rd wish: hahahs. 秘密. (:

I REALLY hope that these three wishes can come true. PLEASE. xD

ohya, going out with daddy, mummy & bro tomorrow to Suntec. Hope we enjoy ourselves. :D

**next time people ask me my age, I've to tell them is 18, not seventeen anymore. ):

Memories.

2010-12-15T20:08:00.005+08:00

Went for the job interview on Monday. Hope I can got in. Hope they'll call me these few days.

ohya, thought that day can go Orchard to see the festive lightings, in the end I not feeling too well after the movie, Narnia. & went home after that. ):

haish, was thinking of alot of things after watching a music video on cable tv.

Dear diary,

你知道吗?其实,我已经有听过曹格所唱的“爷爷”,今天无意间看到了他的MV.里面最后所写的一句话好像,好像是爷爷想跟我们所说的一句话.他说: "我走的时候太急了,没有跟你说再见,现在特别,来跟你说声再见. 最近,又时常地想起爷爷了,妈咪说你突然会想起爷爷是因为他就在你身傍.还记得去年的生日是在马来西亚庆祝的,爷爷还在,我们还一起拍了全家福.爷爷你现在在天堂还过的好吗?

以前,我一直都以为都是婆婆在照顾爷爷,可是其实他们俩都是互相维持的,一起出国,到哪里都是在一起. 其实,没有了一个都不行,根本不能活得更快乐,更自由.

那天,婆婆还跟我说就快过年了,可是团圆饭却少了爷爷.....

Love Ya.

2010-12-13T10:49:00.008+08:00

Hahahs. We have a small gathering on Saturday at Jurong Point after catching a movie, Harry Potter. Argh, has been late for the movie for around 20min, missed the infront part. ): Anyway, mitup with my secondary school friends. Hasn't been seeing them for a long long time. ohya, Wenlin went for the JYP audition, and I waited for her for 6 hours!! (should have bring something there to read. real bored.)

okay, that's all. will be going for a interview later. Wish me luck!! ^.^

then after interview, going with Mummy and Peiyee for movie and then Orchard. SEEYA!

My little diary

2010-12-05T12:30:00.005+08:00

From now on, I'll keep this bloggie as my little diary, just like as before.

I can pen down my thoughts whenever and wherever I am. Hahahs.

Either HAPPINESS or unhappiness. Just like now, I flip through my little diary, all the events flash through my mind. I want to keep track of my beautiful memories.

Dear Diary,

I always want to be a PILOT. It has always been my dream.

Piloting an airplane, flying in the blue sky and white clouds floating around you like cotton candy. SWEET. & the smart pilot's uniform. COOL. But, it's only my dream. I can't be a pilot either physically or academically. I'm not above 1.65m and not to say my academic results.

So, dreams SHATTERED!! );

I LOVE to see airplanes. I went to airport with Zhiting on Thursday, to see airplanes of course hahahs. I've a GREAT time there, love the time that you can just sit by the viewing gallery, worry about nothing and just looking at the airplanes. Others may think it's a bored-to-death thing, but to me, it's a place to really relax. Hahahs. ^.^

I really hope I can find the job I want soon!! & next week looking forward to meet my secondary school friends. Really long didn't see them le. Oh ya, tmr is the graduation night. Hope wenlin have fun!! & come back to tell me stories. Hahahs. Okay, right now in malaysia. (: going out to eat my dinner. Got alot of things I want to eat. Sure get fatter when I go back S'pore. T.T

Signing off,

Szeyee

NO TITLE.

2010-11-09T19:36:00.003+08:00

CAN REALLY GO AND DIE NOW.

NO ONE WILL DO AS BAD AS ME.

THE FIRST PAPER. & I DO IT LIKE SH!T.

WORST STILL. IT'S ALEVEL.

I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT ON THE DESERTED ISLAND ALONE.

counting down...

2010-11-09T01:58:00.003+08:00

TODAY is the big day!!
first paper of 'A's.

Yeah, it's not a Dream.
Yeah, it's not an Illusion.
Yeah, it's the Truth.

GOODLUCKS!! (:

Expect the Unexpected.

2010-11-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

I can't believe that I'm still online at this time!!

2 MORE days to 'A's. TWO MORE DAYS. TWO MORE DAYS.

Hahahs. Just have a sushi feast at Sakae Sushi. Mummy's treat. :D :D

& can't stop to envy my brother, cos' he is going TAIWAN!

next week. when I'm still having exam. ):

He better gets some goodies or souvenirs back. Hahahs. Evil.

Okay, better get back to my Chemistry. It's calling me back.

hahahs. 23 more days to FREEDOM!! (;

& 2 more days to fight with the BIG BIG MONSTER!!

the feeling that you can't explain.

2010-10-29T19:56:00.010+08:00

低落的心情...
难以平复...

我知道是为了什么，但我不明白为何我会这个样子.

叹气～还是叹气...

不然我还能做些什么?

好讨厌自己去做一些无聊的事情.

讨厌自己去想一些不可能发生的事情.

讨厌自己在这个时候还没尽我的全力.

真的真的好讨厌现在的自己!!

如果真有时光机就好了，

就能会到两年前，一切重新开始.

好好的读书，好好的珍惜一切.

就一次，一次就好.

算了，希望明天一睡醒心情就会好一点.

面对现实吧! 一切始终都会结束的.

真希望能像别人一样；拿得起，放得下.

今天应该是能遇到你的最后一天了吧. 再见!!

Time To Let Go.

2010-10-24T21:32:00.003+08:00

When It's Time To Let Go, I Hold It Even Tighter.

I just can't take my eyes off you. ):

Just wondering about something.

If you've to catch a hundred airplanes to make a wish.

& you've already caught 99 planes,

would you catch the last one to make your wish come true?

Or would you not?

just because you were afraid that your wish would not come true.

Everything that you believe is just a LIE...

okay, BACK TO REALITY!!

15 more days to battle. Buck up, Szeyee!!

*When the end of the journey seems impossible to reach,

just take one more step, even if it's a small step.

It will bring you closer to the finishing line.

I'll be BACK!! (:

2010-10-21T19:56:00.004+08:00

heyheyhey.

I'm back again. hahahs. Just for alittle while. (:
six days ago, is our Farewell Assembly (15 Oct). last official day in school. );
miss school terribly man. miss 09S17. miss my friends. & you.

& NOW left 18 days to Alevel!!
Think I'm seriously dead.:X

不想再去想

2010-09-17T14:58:00.003+08:00

不祥的心情。

Life still has to go on, no matter what.

2010-09-09T15:21:00.003+08:00

Just a random post.

to keep my bloggie alive.

hahahs. Hasn't been going to library to study.

Lazy to go out. & Prelims is coming!

What a disaster!!

SEULONG! My motivation. :D

Life still has to go on right?

Hang in there!

Quick Update

2010-08-28T12:54:00.002+08:00

Hahahs. almost a month didn't update le.
Actually got alot of things to update de. But, aiya don't need me to say also know le.
Lazy me lorhs. hahahs.

Anyway, ytd was our last GSC lesson with Shan laoshi! ):
She is the best teacher ever! But, unfortunately she is leaving le.
We planning to have a farewell dinner with her on Teachers' Day, Sept 1.
Look forward to it!! :D

hahahs. will have an update soon again, okay?
maybe after Teachers' Day Celebration.
Going leave for tuition le. Byebye! (:

You're my Sunshine! (:

2010-07-30T19:46:00.003+08:00

Summer.

Woah. So long didn't come here le.

*coughing* loads of dust and spiderwebs.

): left 101 days to 'A' Levels le. 35 more days to Prelims.

I'm still so unprepared! Last time, still got the thought of getting retained.

Cos' I don't think I'll be able to make it.

Okay! Let's not talk bout all these stressful stuffs.

Sports Carnival! Fun yeah? Everybody is so HiGH!

Love these school events! Upcoming will be National Day Celeb.

Gonna be our last year le. So gonna miss it. with my fellow friends and classmates. (:

It reminded me of you whenever I heard this song. I still can't overcome it. Can't do the right thing that I've promised myself. Gonna land myself in misery. How am I going to catch my 100th plane to make my wishes come true? within the 101 days...

I still can't accept the fact that you've gone

2010-07-05T00:02:00.002+08:00

I still can't accept the fact...

the fact that you've gone.

What you've left for us

is something that we can't buy with money$$.

Memories. Beautiful, precious memories.

Everything happens so sudden!

Till now, I still hope that it's all a dream.

A dream that seems so real.

爷爷! 我还是依然习惯性的叫“爷爷”. 这一切发生的太突然了，我完全无法接受.

何况是婆婆他们. 爷爷前一个礼拜还住在我们的家，一切看起来都好好的. 但完全没想到爷爷两天后就在睡梦中走了. 我跟他说的最后一句话是什么？我为他做的最后一件事是什么？我多希望那不是最后一次. 那种感觉真的很难形容，因为一切都已经来不及了.

爷爷! 你连World Cup都还没看完. 你连你最喜欢看的“爱”也都还没看完呢.

我知道你已经走了，可是我依然能感觉到你的存在. 爷爷，我们都很想你，也都很舍不得你!

爷爷，您放心. 我们一定会好好的照顾婆婆，孝顺婆婆的. 今天已经是您离开我们的第十天了，

我发现每一天的过去都代表我们对您的思念.

爷爷，其实我还有很多话想对你说. 您永远是我最尊敬，最敬爱的爷爷!

就像弟弟所说的，我们以后长大一定要像你一样，做一个令人尊敬的人，即使离开了，也会有很多人为你伤心，为你流泪. 爷爷! 您一定要在另一个世界活得更快乐!

This is the first time I've lost someone who is so close so dear to me. But, I know life still has to go on. I must learn to accept the reality, cherish the moments with my family. Nothing matters more than this. D:

Time is Running Out!

2010-06-26T01:15:00.003+08:00

Oh No! Time is Running Out!

no... Time Flies.

I need MORE time!!

Cry Your Heart Out.

2010-06-17T00:04:00.003+08:00

D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D;D;D:D:D:D;D:D:D;D;D:D:D:D:D:D;D;D;D;

Yeye went for his checkup on monday. Doc. said he has to go through chemo again.
I thought everything will be fine. But it turns out the other way round.
I'm afraid. of this feeling. I just hope everything will be alright.

Everyone seems that they're okay, but actually they're not.
They're just putting on a brave front.
In fact, they're afraid. they're worried. they're nervous.
They simply hide their tears. their fears. & put on a 'smile'. just to make us feel better.

我相信爷爷一定会没事的。就像上一次一样。一定会没事的。
Please. May God Bless Him.

*I'm afraid. when you're unprepared, the impact you experienced will be much greater.

LAZY-ing :X

2010-06-11T23:04:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps! (: hahahs.

I lazy blog larhs hahs. & lazy to upload the photos in Shanghai. haix D:

Busy studying arhs... hahas LIKE REAL!! :X

Has been slacking arhs...& cough like CrAZy these few days.

Wenlin is coming my house later to burn midnight oil with me. hahahs.

So... ByeBye peeps! Seeya soon! & hope I can faster upload the photos.

Don't be lazy arhs, Szeyee. :X

Back from Shanghai!!! :D

2010-06-09T23:14:00.004+08:00

YiPPeE!! I'm BacK From ShangHaI!! :D

hahahs, I've a WonDeRfUL time there.
I wish I could stay there longer. hahahs.
Yeah, it's a GrEaT Experience & MeMOraBLe Memories for ME!!
Get to go to Shanghai Expo 2010 with my friends.
Oh gosh... I miss their weather there, I miss their xiao long bao & SHoPPing Time!!
at the 7-storey high bookshop (Shanghai's largest) & the ChengHuang Miao Street.

I bought quite alot of things. Almost spend all my $$ there. hahahs.
Yeah, some are prezzie for my beloved friends. hahahs.
Ohhya, must THANK Shiya for taking care of me & your wonderful medicine when I fall sick there. hahahs. Lucky got you arhs, or else can't tahan there lerhs. hahas. Thanks ALOT!!
& the rest... for their care & concern. hahahs. :D

Okay, that's all for today. I'll try to upload some pictures in the next post. hehehs.
I going to eat my medicine now & SLEEP! hahs.
Tmr going for Xiaoqi's Birthday Celeb @ Seoul Garden, Bugis.
SOooo excited cos' haven't seen my friends for quite a period of time except Shiya larhs. hahahs.
I miss them!!! (; Going to see them TMR! (:

Much Love, SzeYee.

ByeBye! (:

2010-06-02T15:42:00.002+08:00

Going off to Shanghai~

in 9mre hours...
hahs, still don't feel excited... I don't know why.
hahs. Anw, i guess I'll enjoy the trip. Don't worry!

But, having sore throat & cough the moment I wake up today.
Omy, not now k? hahahs.
Hasn't been revising & doing my homework for the past few days.
MUST study hard when I come back. *promise*

*will miss you Mum & Dad! :D
not forgetting my bro. hahs.

Kay, Bye(:

It's not going to be the same anymore.

2010-05-30T23:39:00.004+08:00

Dreamt of you.

I don't believe dreams will come true. Cos' it never does.

hahahs, 4 more days to Shanghai trip! (:

Anw, getting my new specs tmr. YAY!! :D

Nothing to blog about horhs...

maybe the next time i blog will be after the trip. hahahs.

Now, even the others mention about you, I'm not feeling the same way as last time anymore. D:

hahahs. Bye!!

*so RANDOM! :X

loved :D:D

2010-05-23T16:04:00.004+08:00

Being Loved.

谁会不喜欢被宠的感觉啊？

对吗？hahahs.

现在我想只有婆婆爷爷会比较宠我了。

所以啊，现在我超喜欢他们来我家的。因为，他们会带很多我们喜欢吃的东西给我们。

这就代表了他们的爱与关心啊。

hahahs, yeah they come our house today.

& they bring loads of food. hahs. :D

我承认他们以前是有点偏心，那时候我也真的好难过。

可是，我知道他们现在不是这样子的了，现在婆婆爷爷超疼我们的。

所以嘛，思漪，以后一定一定要好好孝顺他们，不能忘记他们对你的好，对你的照顾！

I really LOVE them loads. hahahs. :D:D

Actually, I do know around me, there're still people caring for me.

My friends, My family. (:

They do give me support & the motivation I need alot alot.

hahs, I hope this positive mindset can last,

cos' I really do not want to stay unhappy anymore lerhs.

So, Szeyee... STAY POSITIVE!! :D:D:D JIAYOUS!!

好烦啊！

2010-05-20T22:03:00.005+08:00

我好烦，好烦，好烦啊!!!

现在真的很烦啊！

救命啊！我头脑已经快要爆炸了！

拜托，不要再拿这种事情来烦我了好吗？

思漪，你真的是大白痴，大笨蛋！

我狠狠哭。

Can't Resist It!

2010-05-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

OMYOMY!!

I'm feeling hungry! at this time! OhhNO!
Feel like eating the cakes. Can't resist the temptation.

Hahs. It's going to rain soon!
Hope I'll have a good sleep tonight. No more nightmare please!

Sleep tight, Szeyee :D